What if there are too many options?

One of my treasured blog readers contacted me a couple of days ago and asked if we could have a chat. I was so excited that someone who reads my blog actually wanted to talk to me about education!

My reader was wanting to hear my thoughts on the best way forward for their child. Their child has a learning disability. It's one of those 'tricky' situations whereby their child's needs do not qualify for government funding for support in their school. However, the child would benefit enormously from the provision of classroom aide support and speech therapy, the cost of which would need to be covered by the family.

Let's face it, we would do anything we can to help our children get through school successfully, yet at the same time, we don't have thousands of dollars at out disposal to invest in therapies, classroom aides, and parent training courses. We also can't afford to dedicate our every waking hour to the needs of just one of our children when we also need to go to work, provide meals for our family and look after our other children. The challenge is to choose the best option for our child that will give them the support they need without sending us broke.

This article sets out some of the options for children with a mild learning disability that does not qualify for government funding yet would benefit from additional educational support.

Here are some of the options before you: 

Do not pay for any additional intervention:

Many students travel through our mainstream school system with an unidentified learning disorder. Sometimes these are the children who work so hard everyday in order to 'just grasp' the material being presented to them. In other cases, it's the children who 'appear' to be misbehaving but really are just trying to avoid revealing that they are struggling to understand what is being taught.

Then there are the children who have a diagnosed, mild learning disability. These children make their way through school at their own pace without any additional support beyond the classroom teacher. It's hard going, but many make it through okay. The flip side is that some young people become overwhelmed with the pressure of school when they find learning difficult. These students end up leaving school prematurely when they could have stayed had they have been provided with some additional support.

Classroom teachers are trained to cater to the wide range of abilities in their classroom and will do everything they can to support children for whom learning is difficult. Many schools will also run numeracy and literacy groups to give free additional support to children who are struggling in the classroom. Before you dive into paying for tutors and therapists, check what support the school offers as a part of their services and ask that your child be considered for any additional learning support opportunities offered. 

Pay for an integration aide to support your child:

Most schools will have a number of staff, known as integration aides, who work alongside students to assist them in the completion of their classroom work. Their hourly pay is mainly covered by the government funding provided for students with significant learning needs. The integrations aides, also known as classroom aides, are caring people who have been employed because they have the ability to patiently support children at school. Many will have completed a short-course to become an integration aide, others are qualified school teachers who have chosen to work as an aide for the sake of the shorter hours and reduced stress and responsibility. There are also many aides who are parents of children who have additional needs and understand from firsthand experience how to support children with learning difficulties.

Some schools ensure their integration aides give first priority to the students who have been given government funding on account of their disability. Other schools use their funding to place integration aides into many of their classrooms so that all children benefit from the support of an additional adult in the classroom. Schools are welcome to use their funding as they please and there are arguments for and against each model. However, what it means for children with mild learning needs is that they may already be receiving the support of a government funded integration aide without you having to pay another cent. Some teachers 'piggy-back' a struggling student with a student with an identified learning need and get the integration aide to work with both students. 

It is worth asking the classroom teacher if your child needs and /or receives additional support whilst in the classroom. 

In many cases, schools will allow you to pay for an integration aide to support your child for a set number of hours per week. An experienced integration aide will be paid around $26 per hour and so that is the rate you should be required to pay for the benefit of an aide for your child. This sounds like inexpensive tutoring, but you do need to keep these factors in mind:

• Integration aides will generally only come to your child's classroom at the same pre-arranged time each week. This means that some weeks they will turn up and be able to help your child through a difficult task. Other weeks they might turn up whilst the teacher is going into an extended rant about the benefits of 'commas' and the integration aide will sit there unable to assist your child until a task is actually set. Some weeks you'll get value for money, other weeks you won't. 
• An integration aide is a 'helper'. They are not paid to prepare an alternative program for your child (although some may kindly do that for you). Their main task is do whatever they can do help your child progress through the work they have been given by the classroom teacher.
• There may be a number of children in the classroom using the same integration aide. Your child may need to 'wait their turn' to receive help when they really need it. In other cases, your child may not request the help of the integration aide at all during a lesson.

All that being said, as a teacher, I loved having integration aides in my classroom and I attempted to make the most of their time in providing tasks that they could help their allocated students with. I saw some of my students make amazing strides in their learning with the support of their integration aide. Was that money well spent? Absolutely 

When I worked as an integration aide myself, I also tried to give parents 'value for money'. Some students loved having me around and would willingly let me support them. Others were embarrassed by my presence, so even if they needed help, they wouldn't let me help them.

If your child is in upper-primary or high school, it would be wise to ask them how they feel about having an integration aide support them in the classroom. That conversation alone may help you to decide whether to pay for the classroom support or not.

Pay for a private tutor:

This is a good option if your child is just struggling with one subject in particular and needs a bit of a 'leg up' to fill in the gaps in the understanding of the subject. You can pay anywhere from $30 for half an hour to $100 for an hour depending upon the skills and experience of the tutor.  Some tutors will focus on helping your child with their homework in the given subject whilst others will identify your child's area of weakness and provide them with tutoring specifically designed to teach them new skills and build up their confidence in the subject. Some tutoring schools will have a set curriculum that the tutor will systematically work through with your child regardless of their areas of weakness in the subject.

It's up to you which tutoring style you choose but here are some tips for making private tutoring work:

• Tell the classroom teacher that your child is receiving tutoring and work out a way by which the classroom teacher can communicate any specific learning needs that they have noticed to the tutor. 
• Be specific with the tutor about the concerns you have and let them know what you want them to work on in as much detail as possible. If you only give the tutor vague instructions, they may end up working on areas that don't require attention.
• If you don't feel comfortable with the tutor or your child doesn't seem to be enjoying their time with them - cut your losses early and find someone that does work for you. 

This is a good option if your child is just struggling with one subject in particular and needs a bit of a 'leg up' to fill in the gaps in the learning so that they can keep up with the rest of the class at school.

Pay for your child to see a Speech Pathologist:

If your child is having trouble keeping up with their work across a number of subjects, there may be an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. Speech Pathologists are trained to do more than just correct mispronunciations of words. They can actually assess, diagnose and treat a variety of learning, speech and language problems that a teacher is not trained to identify. Having recognised your child's needs, they are able to design a specific, targeted intervention program to assist your child in managing their learning challenges. They work with the long-term goal of equipping your child with skills that will enable them to understand and communicate ideas far more proficiently in the future. 

It is an expensive option, with reputable speech pathologists charging between $80-$130 for a 30 minute session. However, you need to approach speech therapy sessions with a long term perspective. It won't fix your child's immediate problems, but over time, you will see a development in their overall skills as they are able to understand, process and communicate their knowledge to educators.

Deciding what is best for your child is a heart-wrenching decision, and everyone is going to give you slightly different advice. My best advice is always to start with the teacher. Make an appointment time and let the teacher know that you want to talk to them about how your child is progressing overall. This will give the teacher an opportunity to go through all their notes and records so that they can give you an accurate idea of what is going on. Your teacher may also be able to advise you on whether your child would benefit from additional help either in school or by outside tutors or therapists.

I am always very happy to hear from my blog readers too. We all want to do the best for our children, and sometimes we just need to hear unbiased advice from someone who can see everyone's perspective.  Feel free to drop me an email on louise.c.griffiths@icloud.com if I can be of assistance.

Time to take a day off school?

I woke up feeling 'off' this morning. It had been one of those weird nights of sleep where I am pretty sure I was asleep most of the night, but my dreams were strange and vivid. Firstly, I dreamed that we had opened up an animal refuge in our garage and were struggling to care for the rabbits, chickens, puppies and baby alligator that we had acquired. Fortunately, in my dream, the rabbits and the baby alligator were able to share an enclosure - go figure? The second half of the night I dreamed I was a Marvel superhero and my superhero friends and I were trying to take over various continents of the world whilst avoiding the enemies advances. Weird right?

So I woke with my face feeling all dry and stretched out, possibly because I was too lazy to wash my face last night, and I had this horrid taste in my mouth. I got up to have breakfast and ate it alright, but as I sat on the couch my tummy felt weird and it was far more comfortable to lay on my bed than continue on with my morning routine. Fortunately, at 42 years of age, I get the right to declare when I feel sick and should just go back to bed. When my husband asked me what was wrong - my only explanation was 'I just feel yuck'.

There was no cough, no sniffly nose, I wasn't threatening to vomit everywhere and I wasn't covered in a strange spotty rash. To the average observer, you would think I am totally fine to get on with my day and complete whatever work I needed to. However, if I had decided to go ahead with the coffee date I had planned with a lovely friend, went shopping and started cleaning the house, it would not have been pretty. I would have felt a whole lot worse at the end of the day.

The same thing has been happening with my own children for the past 3 weeks. Some days my son complains of a headache, other days its a tummy ache, other days he is just tired and irritable. My daughter complains of a sore tummy most nights and often a sore throat. She gets anxious if she looks at the clock and sees that it is past 8 p.m. She worries that if she doesn't get enough sleep, school will be a difficult experience in the morning. As I tuck my children into bed at night, they ask me if they'll be allowed to stay home if they feel sick in the morning. I reply with "we'll wait and see".

Of course, the poor children wake up the next day with the same vague symptoms that don't really seem to warrant staying home, and so they obediently get themselves ready for school and ultimately survive the day. They report feeling unwell at various points of the day, but not enough to warrant going to the nurse, and if they do, they are sent back to the teacher. There's no cough, wheeze, vomit, temperature or spots.....

I've been to the doctors twice in the last two weeks, hoping that they can provide the Latin name for what they are suffering from,  however, there is no medical term that succinctly identifies 'mid-term two, start of winter exhaustion'.  I have no medical experience except for First Aid and anaphylaxis training, but I wish to patent the phrase 'mid-term two, start of winter exhaustion'. It's a real illness I tell you. We've had it for three weeks now and it's not going away.

It got to the point last week where my husband and I agreed that the children are just miserable and going to school day after day when they are feeling off was not doing anyone any favours. Imagine sitting on the floor with your legs neatly crossed, listening to the teacher whilst your tummy feels just a little achy. Going to the music room with a vague headache that just comes and goes as it pleases. How can you learn when you are struggling to feel 'yourself' - it's pretty tough isn't it?

As adults, we have the authority to declare ourselves unwell and stay home from work, but our children can't. Perhaps if they possessed the vocabulary to clearly explain their symptons, they may be able to better convey to us why they should stay home. But they don't and in the absense of observable symptons, we send them along anyway.

I wonder what the long term impact is of sending children to school when they are not quite 100%? How do they feel about their learning when they are experiencing physical discomfort at the same time? Do they begin to fear certain subjects, because the physically activities or noise involved make them feel unwell? Do they stop asking to go to the nurse because they know they will just be sent back to the classroom anyway?

I have lot of friends who tell me that they would have to be practically dead before their parents would let them stay home from school. I think the same is still true, especially as keeping your children home from school may also mean that a parent has to stay home from work to look after them. However, school is far more intense and rigorous than it was 20 plus years ago. The amount of activities children switch between in a day and the high level of attention they need to maintain through the day is exhausting at the best of times. Trying to keep up when they are feeling even a little off must be near impossible.

So in our household, we are lowering the standards for what qualifies for a day of school. We are recognizing that no matter how non-descript the symptoms may seem to us, the feelings are very real, and possibly very scary, for our child. We are keeping in mind that our children need adequate time to recover from an illness before being sent back to school. We are learning to appreciate that regular emotional meltdowns and other signs of tiredness also qualify for a day off school.

I know, I know, I can hear the rebuttals now.....

1) Who is going to look after our children when we have to work and get on with other tasks?

I don't know the answer to that as each family is different.

A few things to think about though:

• If your child comes home from school feeling 'off', maybe organise a family member or friend to look after your child the next day to give them a rest day.
• If your child is struggling with tiredness and illness, you are also at risk of catching any illness they may have. It is better for you and your child to both take the day off and engage in some self-care rather than pushing yourselves until you both fall in a heap.
• Speak to your employer about working from home or flexi-day options for when your child is sick.

A couple of years ago, I was working full-time whilst my children were in Prep and Year One. My daughter developed persistent tummy aches, but because I was so committed to doing my job to the best of my abilities, I rarely took a day of to attend to my daughter. In hindsight, I realized that my daughter was simply exhausted and some regular mummy days would have got her through the tiring phase of her prep year.

2) Won't my child miss out on important work if I give them a day off?

•  Even if your child is at school, they aren't going to be getting much benefit out of the work anyway, Most teachers are very happy to keep a copy of all activities and material they cover whilst your child is away, Generally, a day of primary school missed can be caught up on with 45-60 mins work at home with an adult
• Secondary school students can email teachers and ask them to send through any work they can complete whilst they are home
• Concepts are taught and re-taught throughout a child's education.  A concept that is missed through a few days of absense will be retaught in the coming months or years anyway.

3) Won't my child start 'faking' their illness just to get time off school?

• Most parents can tell if their child is in genuine discomfort or if their child is 'having them on'.
• If a child is too sick to go to school, it is wise for a parent to enforce a genuine rest day. This means no trips to the shops, no sitting in front of the tv for hours. It is a time of sitting in bed and reading or quietly playing. A child who is not genuinely unwell will quickly return to school if they find that home is not an amusement centre during school hours.
• If a parent takes the time to get their child to stay up to date with their school work when they are at home, the child will learn that staying home does not make them exempt from completing their schoolwork.

During these cold winter months, let's cut our children a bit of slack. A few days off here and there isn't going to jeopardize their future. However, it will give them time to rest and recover to that they can truly enjoy school when they are there.